The Key to Going From “Just Friends” to More Than Just Friends

Many years ago when I was single, I had a roommate. One day, we were at a record store; and she struck up a conversation with a man who worked there. They had a lot in common music-wise and the conversation was great. But she was 10 years younger than he was, and she insisted he wasn't her "type." So they became friends.

They talked music, they went to concerts, and did all kinds of things friends do together. Until they become lovers. Turns out she wasn't really his type either, yet he had always found himself inexplicably attracted to her from the beginning. And, by the time he revealed this, my friend's feelings had already been turning romantic for him.

They're now happily married. What seemed (from the outside) like a friendship that could never get romantic turned into a life-long love story.

The Key Was That He Was Always Into Her

If it had been the other way around - if my roommate had been totally into him, and he just considered her a pal - this would never have gone further than friendship. She would also have ended up feeling humiliated and wounded.

"When a friendship turns into a love relationship, the attraction was usually there for the man from the beginning."

While it may be tempting to tell a man you're friends with that you're attracted to him in a romantic way, you'll get nowhere if he's not already attracted to you. And it won't make him fall for you. He won't want anything more than a fling or a friends-with-benefits type of arrangement. And if you want more, you're only going to end up getting hurt.

What It Should Feel Like

A relationship depends on the man being attracted to the woman, so that you never question if he's "into you."

When a friendship turns into a love relationship, the attraction was usually there for the man from the beginning. But for whatever reason, he opted for "friends" and didn't pursue the romance.

Sometimes, it's possible to change your vibe so totally that you feel like a different woman to him, and the original attraction he felt for you gets ramped up to a place where he's clearly and obviously "into you".

In my eBook, I show you how to tap into your feminine energy so that you reveal the most attractive, magnificent, wonderful you - the kind of woman men long to devote their hearts to.

There are specific subtle shifts you can make in yourself that will magically cause a change in the man you're interacting with so that he can't help but fall for you.

If there's a man in your life who is "just a friend", using my Tools is the easiest, risk-free way to see if he is truly into you without needing to put yourself out there and declaring your feelings for him first.

And if he's not interested in more than friendship at all, you'll find that these Tools will start drawing more men into your life who will want to connect with you romantically. You might even decide Mr. Just A Friend was not Mr. Right after all.

Why All Women Should Date Other Men

It's a shocking idea - that all women, regardless of relationship status, should "date" other men. We've been taught that dating means "exclusivity" and marriage means "monogamy." The thought of dating other men when you're already in a relationship feels wrong and foreign to most women. It's black and white - you're either dating or you're exclusive.

But there's a much grayer area, and that's how you relate to all men, everywhere, even when you're technically exclusive or married. By dating other men or "dating" yourself and flirting, you can dramatically improve how you feel inside of any relationship and inspire more passion from him.

Exclusivity Does NOT Lead to Commitment

If you're dating or in a relationship with a man who hasn't yet fully committed to you, then you should keep dating other men. By doing so, you'll feel that you have choices and you won't invest all your time and energy into a man who isn't sure yet what kind of future he wants with you.

Not surprisingly, this goes against everything women naturally believe about relationships. Women have been taught since childhood to believe that becoming a man's "girlfriend" and being exclusive naturally leads to a long-term, committed relationship. This is a total lie!

The truth is, the moment a woman makes a man the center of her world is the moment he starts to feel less romantic about you. This is because as soon as the man senses that you've devoted yourself to him exclusively before he's given you the commitment you want, he starts to think less of you. It's a demonstration of weakness and lack of self-respect to him.

Being exclusive with a man does not automatically lead to lasting love and commitment. Keeping your options open and focusing on what you need will.

"Being exclusive with a man does not automatically lead to lasting love and commitment."

It Changes Your Vibe

If you're married, it's not literally about going out on dates with men. You just flirt and let men come up and talk to you and then "date" yourself. You treat yourself to evenings out doing things that make you happy. You buy yourself things that make you feel beautiful.

By focusing on yourself and doing the things that make you feel warm and romantic and wonderful inside, you can completely change your vibe.

Instead of feeling desperate, you feel free. Instead of feeling needy, you feel generous. Dating yourself or flirting with other men makes you feel strong inside. It makes you feel wanted and desirable. Most importantly, it makes you feel that you have choices in how to feel fulfilled and happy.

Having the right kind of vibe is the key to finding the right man and inspiring his love and devotion forever.

If you'd like to change your vibe using easy, step-by-step Tools and secrets that will work with the man in your life - whether it's someone you're attracted to, your boyfriend or your husband - then there's no better place to start than my eBook, Have the Relationship You Want.

Early on in my marriage, when things weren't going well between my husband and me, I tried everything I could think of to fix it. I would talk, plead, argue with him. I would think about our problems and what he wanted almost non-stop. I made him the center of my world because I felt so desperate to make it work, but all it did was to push him away even further. Then a light went off in my head. I was focusing on the WRONG person! When I stepped back and stopped trying and doing, and just relaxed into my own skin, things completely turned around. I dated myself by doing things that honored what I needed, and his feelings changed for me overnight.

Changing the way a man feels around you is as easy as reading and learning from my eBook - it's going to be like a light going on in your head (like it was in mine), and you'll see immediate results when you practice all the Tools I offer in it. For example, you'll learn an easy exercise that will create more appreciation from your man.

Stop Feeling So Powerless Right Now

Are you finding yourself working so hard to get a relationship and keep it going? If so, I know all too well how that feels, because trying to keep a relationship afloat always took up all my thoughts and energy.

I remember feeling like the sheer effort of it all was swallowing up my whole life force. What's worse, I never got enough back from a man to fill me up enough inside so I could feel good.

Then I discovered that this was exactly the problem.

Depending On Him To Feel Good Always Backfires

It took a lot of broken relationships and my heart in pieces to finally figure out what had eluded me for so very long. I finally saw that the good feelings I was so desperate to have from a man weren't possible if I wasn't feeling good about myself to begin with.

Let me save you a lot of time and pain by sharing a powerful Tool I discovered to put an end to this vicious cycle.

Relationship Tool: I Am All That

1. Imagine that your attractiveness is boundless, your eyes are magnets, your heart is an open pool of gold that every man wants to dive into, and your body (no matter what you think) is a lush place that every man longs for, feels awestruck just thinking about getting close to, and yet feels safe within. Really imagine that's what he sees, thinks and feels.

“They'll want to know what it is that makes you feel so confident, and they'll want to get in on your I'm all that!”

2. When any doubts, fears, and negative thoughts come up, simply tell them to step aside.

3. Paint this picture of boundless attractiveness for yourself in your imagination right now, this moment, and keep it going all day and night, no matter what happens.

4. Once this imaginary picture is in your mind, and the good feelings it brings are in your heart and body, you'll notice something amazing happening. When you're in the market, at the drugstore, walking down the street, waiting in line at the coffee house - you will begin to experience yourself as a magnet for men. Then...

5. Lean back. Actually tilt your body backwards - to keep your energy in "receiving" mode while you're imagining every man you meet (especially the one you may be in a relationship with right now) giving energy to you.

We light candles whenever he comes over. We put on our sexiest clothes and buy lacy lingerie.

Watch The Magic Unfold

Once you start practicing this Tool - and I mean make it a habit every day - you'll find that your love life takes a huge leap in the right direction. Why? Because you have created the very feelings within you that you have so desperately tried to get from a man. And that is very empowering - not to mention extremely attractive.

Save Your Marriage In two Steps

When I married my husband over twenty years ago, I thought the heart-wrenching days of dating angst were over. I thought I'd never again have to worry about my man becoming distant from me or withdrawing. And yet the unthinkable happened: our initial wedded bliss gave way to disconnection to the point I felt like I was living with a stranger.

I tried everything to save my marriage, including trying to talk to my husband over and over about it. I was exhausted from trying to change him until I made an important, life-changing discovery: the only way to change him and save my marriage was to change me.

I realized that I had lost track of myself and my own happiness, and this resulted in my husband doing the same. Once I started to make small changes in myself and putting the focus on the most important person - me - I was able to save my marriage and create a stronger, more connected union than ever. If I was able to do it, you can save your marriage, too. Here's how.

Forget About Him

That's right. As I mentioned above, putting yourself first is the key to inspiring a man to put you first. If you don't feel good about yourself and have high self-esteem, you won't have what I call a “high degree of difficulty.”

That's when a man perceives that you honor and respect yourself, and you know what you will or will not tolerate.

Of course, it's impossible to do this when you are using so much of your time and energy to please your man and give him what you think he wants. Which leads me to the next step that saved my marriage and can save your marriage.

Make Yourself Happy

If you only take away one thing from this article, let it be this: the one thing that won't ever work to help a man make us happy is to focus on making him happy!

And here's the amazing thing: what makes a good man happy is to make US happy!

One of the simplest ways to do this within marriage is to “date yourself.” That means that you do for yourself what would please you. If you'd like your husband to take you to dinner, tell him you're taking yourself out to a spa lunch. If you wish he bought you more presents, treat yourself to something you really want. It doesn't have to be expensive, it just has to make you happy.

This could mean taking an hour every day for yourself to do yoga. Once he sees that you're not setting aside your wishes for him, he'll remember the wonderful woman he fell in love with and what made her unique. A change of vibe like this in you can actually re-light a man's passion and help save your marriage.

It's worth repeating: good men like to make their women happy. Period. They like to give presents, they like to take you out, they like to be faithful to you, and they like the way it feels when you feel good about yourself when you're with them.

They like the way it feels when you let them know you feel good. It makes them feel like men, and it makes them happy. So if you want to save your marriage, stop exhausting yourself trying to change him and instead focus on making yourself happy first.

If you expect that he will do his best to make you happy without demands but by just letting him know when he DOES make you happy, you'll be on your way to more love than you ever imagined.

When A Man Pulls Away, Bring Him Closer With This Move

Do you feel like the fire has gone out of your relationship?

If your man has stopped calling like he used to and wanting to see you as often as he used to, I know exactly how you feel. I know what it's like to have a man pull back so that I'm starving for the cuddles he used to give me. I've seen him drift away from me -preferring to go to the gym, hang out with his friends, or even sit at the computer alone.

It would feel like the death of the relationship to me, until I learned that these ebbs and flows are perfectly natural.

Why He Pulls Away

Drifting away is completely natural for a man, even if he's in love with you. In fact, it often happens just as his feelings are deepening for you. Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable, so he'll try to pull back in order to not lose himself.

He'll come in and go out - like a rubber band - while he works out his feelings and digs deeper to find his ability to go the distance in a real relationship.

But here's the crucial part. How we handle things when a little bit of distance shows up can make all the difference in whether his rubber band comes back to you, or he goes all the way out, slips his rubber band away from you, and never really returns.

There's a simple Tool to help you deal with the inevitable distance that will arise in a relationship and actually help bring him close to you again. I call it “Be His Anchor.”

How To Create Tension So He Snaps Back

“You have to anchor his rubber band. You have to keep the tension going and keep his attachment to you strong.”

First, you need to keep in mind that a man always pulls back a little, and that it's your job to be leaning back most of the time.

If he starts pulling away, and you move toward him, then you're just letting the rubber band go slack. You're making it impossible for him to bounce back to you. You're eliminating the tension he needs in order to come back.

You have to anchor his rubber band. You have to keep the tension going and keep his attachment to you strong.

We women have been taught the exact opposite thing. We've been taught to move forward when he steps back. But when we do that, we lose our anchor position. It makes us feel powerless.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

That's why I want you to start trying it out right now. Go ahead, put one foot behind the other, plant yourself, and lean back. Just relax your body in bits and pieces, breathe, and stay leaning back.

Imagine that you're anchoring his rubber band and that you have to be strong to keep the tension going. You'll also want to be strong so you don't fall over when he comes back toward you and the tension disappears!

Make Anchoring a Habit

This is the self-esteem, inner strength, boundary part of my entire Rori Raye Method. In my eBook, I go deeper into how to be Strong on the Inside but Soft on the Outside, so that anchoring becomes something you don't even need to think about.

When you learn how to be Strong on the Inside but Soft on the Outside, you strengthen your inner boundaries. Once you've “anchored” a man when he's pulling away, you can dive deep into your feelings and share them with a man using Feeling Messages.

There's a way to express your feelings with a man that won't come across as a demand and in fact will make him want to come closer to you. When you communicate to him in this way, it will actually make him really listen to you and give you what you desire. The key lies in connecting to his heart with these Feeling Messages. I explain how this works in my eBook and can't wait to show you just how to tap into your feminine energy and use Feeling Messages to get closer to the man in your life.

Can Expressing Your Emotions Improve A Relationship?

Nobody likes a drama queen - that's certainly true. But what may surprise you is that a man adores a woman who is in touch with her emotions and knows how to share them with him.

So, if you're worried that you might push a man away by revealing your anger and feelings, this may be exactly why he's not getting closer to you.

Drama is what you do when you're afraid of your true emotions. Drama is what you do when you feel afraid, deep down, of your rage, your terror, your pain - so you work really hard to shut down your feelings and keep them hidden.

But no human being can handle this. So what happens? Your emotions start bubbling away beneath the surface like a pressure cooker. Then one day, you burst. You create drama.

Hiding Your Emotions Pushes Him Away

Just the effort of keeping your emotions at bay for fear of losing him causes you to become angry. Deep down, you're really angry at yourself - you're angry that you've been ignoring your truth.

When you do explode, it's only natural that your man will take the blame for your feelings, causing even more of a disconnect in your relationship.

So how do you undo all the damage of spending years stuffing down your emotions and instead learn to communicate with your man in a way that will engage his heart?

Learn To Love Your Emotions

“Once you get comfortable expressing your emotions about something outside your relationship, it'll be easier to express yourself when it's something directly involving him.”

This means that whatever comes up - wherever you are, whatever you're feeling - you stop doing what you're doing and take a second to acknowledge the feeling. Feel compassion for yourself and what you're experiencing inside.

At first this may not come naturally for you, especially when you're so used to hiding what you're feeling for fear you'll scare a man away or have him think you're flaky. That's okay. In this case, practice really does make perfect.

Undoing the Damage - One Day at a Time

You might practice first by telling your man about something you read or saw on television. Instead of relaying what you thought of the story, or analyzing what happened in the story and why, you stay with your feelings about it. Don't try to hide your tears if they come. Look at him directly without turning away or closing up.

For instance, say you saw something on the news about a robbery in your neighborhood. Instead of telling him that you think it's time for a new set of locks on the door, you could tell him how scared it made you feel to hear this news. See what he does. Chances are, he'll want to comfort you and show he can take care of you. Chances are he'll go out and get some new locks all on his own.

Once you get comfortable expressing your emotions about something outside your relationship, it'll be easier to express yourself when it's something directly involving him.

Stop Obsessing Over Him

How often have you felt you've lost control when it comes to a man? Have you ever spent most of your time trying to figure out what went wrong, or why he hasn't called, or why he's all of a sudden so distant?

If you're like me, you've been there many, many times. Before I learned what I'm about to tell you, I used to become so wrapped up in the man in my life, that I would lose track of the most important person - me.

Not only would I obsess about a man, but then I would start letting him take over my life, too. And I remember that happening over and over again, like a record I couldn't turn off.

It would be a different man, but the same record.

How I Stopped The Cycle Of Obsessive Thoughts

Then I learned something that would forever change my love life: We keep our men always moving toward us by reducing their importance in our lives.

I know this goes against a lot of what we women have been taught, but stay with me. Because as soon as I figured this out, the record stopped; and the men who started showing up were completely different than those men I'd been so hung up on.

That's when my husband came into my life. And when he did, I was able to fall in love with him, let him pursue me, win me, and marry me - all without hearing those obsessive thoughts in my head.

And if I did it, I know you can, too.

Reduce His Importance So He Makes You MORE Important

Here's how to do it. First, stop revolving your life around him. That means no scheduling around him, no making plans around him, no watching what you say and don't say, no trying to make him happy or make him love you, no “nice” and no “understanding” when something he does or doesn't do makes you unhappy.

The second thing to do is to make someone else important in your life. And that's you. One easy way to do this is with a Tool I call Out The Window.

“We keep our men always moving toward us by reducing their importance in our lives.”

Reclaim You: Look Out The Window

Look out a window and imagine what it is that you love (aside from him).

Imagine the love in your heart - all that energy and sweetness and passion - going out the window to that thing you love. This might be painting, or the beach, or giving to those less fortunate, or helping people in your special, unique way. Really contemplate what it is that you love about this thing, how it has enriched your life, and what it is that makes it special to you. Notice how it makes you feel centered and with a sense of purpose.

Suddenly, you'll realize that there's a lot more to your life than this one man, and you will feel your personal power flooding back to you. Instantly re-shifting your focus like this works like magic whenever you feel your thoughts drifting toward any one man and what he's doing, thinking, or feeling.

You'll also learn how to keep your cool when a man pulls away and how to talk to him so you don't scare him further away. You'll learn how to lean back and watch him fall more in love with you everyday. It's a wonderful place to be. I guarantee you'll finally quiet those obsessive thoughts and stop living in fear of losing him - just like it happened for me.